A Letter To Our Biggest Little


Hey baby girl,

Last night I was talking with your dad about your baby bro coming on the scene. Among all the logistics, there was a point when the conversation turned to you, asleep in the other room, and how it's just been you and me and daddy for what seems like forever. 

I suddenly was swept up in the the reality that our time as just us three is coming to an end. There's now this finite time and space between us as a party of three and us as a party of four.

I can list a million reasons why I'm excited for this. First off, having a live-in friend is the bees-knees. Plus, with your natural little leadership heart, your compassion and insistence to include everyone, I have no doubt that your brother and you will become the kind of friends I pray for. 

 Second, there's just something about sharing life with you little people that's so great it's worth repeating.

But there's some hard stuff that comes with welcoming in someone new. We're about to have a whole lot of change, my love. There's going to be a few months when the frustrations are pretty great and adjusting to the newness of a baby that cries and a mom that isn't instantly available will probably be hard sometimes. I also know babies aren't the greatest playmates right out of utero (that's a fancy term for momma's belly.) So all this talk of the awesome friend you'll have may seem like we're tricking you. Babies are kind of blobs for a while.

But then, the day will come when you do something funny and he gets it. You guys will start making each other laugh and it'll be that way forever more. There'll come a point when you can invite him to play, and he'll actually play along the way you were hoping he would. Someday you two will be putting on the shows for your dad and I and it'll be pretty awesome having someone to play backup music for you. It'll be pretty awesome to have someone always be ready to dance to the credit music with. You'll have someone that gets how frustrating mom can be and know exactly what you're talking about when referencing dad's quirks. You'll have someone that just gets stuff that no one else gets. It's a real treasure to be understood like that.

But before all that begins, before we're a family of four and our little buddy is counted among the living, I want to share a few things about you and us that I really, really love. I want to have this so someday when I tell you that once upon a time, it was just me and you and dad, you'll actually have words written down that existed before the boy who fills all your childhood memories was around.

So here's what I love about us:

You and your dad and I dance to movie music all the time. You get your dad moving first, and then slowly I'll manage to get off the couch (you've been kind enough to inform me that my "belly big!" is in existence.)  But we dance anyways and have a pretty good time of it. Your hips can shake like Shakira (which is an irrelevant reference by the time you read this.) Let's just say you know how to do ballet twirls and some Latin moves.

We paint. A lot. Everyday actually. You love it even if it only lasts for 10 or so minutes. 

You have a deep love for all your animals and know their names. You go through them one by one and it amazes me how much you value each individual little one. Some kids get tired of their toys and sort of forget about them. Giving gifts to you is so fun because of your deep joy with the things you get to play with. There's a gratitude to your heart that humbles me. I love it.

Your dad and I joke that your brother may be a pretty serious boy when he grows up because we think that all the goof and silly that we have in our DNA went straight to you. You're just downright funny. You get the sillies a lot and know how to get a good laugh out of us both. Your interpersonal skills, even as a toddler are really quite impressive. 

You've learned the sweetest new phrases that are guaranteed the response you're looking for. You walk over to us "pay wi'me?" or "nuggle me?" and your dad and I can't say no. You give your dad "BIG HUGS!" when he leaves and run with eyebrows raised and an excited phase on as soon as he comes home. Speaking of excited, whenever anything exciting happens, you exclaim "I SO CI-ED"

Come to discover, there's actually a lot to be excited about in life.  

We read a lot of books. You love to find cute little things in them and in a high pitch voice say "Awww tuute." You currently have a weird fear of snakes due to a youtube video of an anaconda snake that we watched over a month ago and whenever a 'scary' part of a show or other image comes on (any screaming, any dark images) you quickly remind us of the 'nake.' It's actually kind of funny doing advent with the story book bible and reading about the snake and Satan. This seems to make a whole lot of sense to you. 

You notice if someone's ever sad, and give back rubs and belly kisses randomly. I sometimes think you like your space, but truth be told you're all about the closeness. You just don't want to be squished. I get that. 

Your a big fan of soup or "oop" as you call it. It's a second only to pizza and cookies and choc (chocolate. ) Yogurt ranks pretty high on the list too. Right now you're going through a clementine kick and want to eat like 3 at a time.

We're in this fun stage where you're making up songs. We grab your ukulele, harmonica and piano and jam out to tunes. We got you a few more instruments for Christmas so I'm pretty excited for opening up gifts. 

You like to take your vitamin, and are skilled at finding band aids for your owies which miraculously heal seconds after the band aid is placed on you. Your dad and you have a secret handshake and you and I share our love for arm tickles and painted toenails.

You don't like baths very much, which makes me laugh because my mom used to call me "stinky weed" because of my disdain for bathing. In a whole lot of ways you are your mothers daughter. I love that I get to share silly things like that with you. But, in all honesty, you are all your own girl at the same time. I don't think I'll ever feel like you're 'JUST like me.'

Almost every night your dad randomly will declare how great you are to me. He's excited for your brother, and is especially excited for the fact that he'll be the main one taking care of you in the upcoming weeks. He's excited for that time to get to be with his girl while momma figures out the whole feeding thing with your brother. You guys have a groove all of your own even at just two years of knowing each other.

Anyways, I could go on and on about this season, but I'll just say we really like having you here. The adventure has been so sweet with the three of us. I'm really grateful that you made me a momma and that you're the first 'arrow' in our helm. 

You're a real beauty, Eowyn. Your "joyful charger" name is so fitting, it's ridiculous. I don't think I could have dreamed up a more beautiful little person.

I'll be treasuring these next several weeks that's its just the three of us.

I love you and I love that you're our 'biggest little.' 


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