Things I've Learned In Marriage

2.28.2011

Ben and I were definitely tootin' our horn when we realized we could announce that we've been married for 8 whole months (yeah, we're that awesome!) After being married that long, Ben basically looks like this 24/7:


Even though we're still babies at this, (like...really...just babies)  we're definately learning some lessons. My dad always told me " If you could do one thing and it'll save you heartache-Learn from others mistakes/ successes"

So, to benefit  (and I really hope it will benefit) all you sweet married couples. ..., for 14.95 you too know the secrets to an awesome marriage....just kidding. Really though,  here's 12 mini- lessons we've learned/ are learning in the last 8 months.



Number 1: Do not understimate the power of raviolio's, frozen meals, and Chipotle when you've had a long day. Happy stomach=happy marriage. Plus, Burrito's make the whole world a happy place.

 Number 2 Never ever make a joke at the expense of your wife or husband, especially in public. There's a good chance that she/he will be good natured about it, but it hurts in the long run. Work to make your husband or wife look good. its your job.. And we all know how we cringe when we see  husband-bashing, or a wife-complaining. It makes no one feel good. (Luckily I learned this one before marriage-thanks mom!)

Number 3: Hobbies- even weird ones, learn to take interest in them, and you'll find out a whole lot more about your spouse. Ben goes and does photography for me, I'm learning to dig comic books. Its actually kind of cool the adventures it allows you to go on.


Number 4: When in an argument, ask yourself this question:

For Women: " Are the statements I'm making giving him credit, and respect (even amidst the argument) or am I  dissrespecting him with my words, tone etc.? Does he feel like I'm throwing him underneath the bus and giving him 0 credit?"  If so, Say " I'm sorry for disrespecting you by saying X, that was wrong of me".  If you're not sure-be bold and ask.


For Men: "Are the statements I'm making expressing that I cherish and adore her, or are the statements expressing that I'm not captivated nor do I adore her." If so, say " i'm sorry for not cherishing you when I did/said x", that was wrong of me" If you're not sure-be bold and ask.

Variations are good-but please keep a) the apology  b) the reason you need to state apoligy  and c) ownership of mistake. It sounds a little mathematical, but it makes sure your bases are covered, and it makes the other feel like you're owning up to the mistake and not turning it into a " I'm sorry you feel like I did this" Its not the same...

Try it, You'll be amazed at how quickly arguements are solved.

Number 5: Laugh. Especially when things go wrong. Like taking 6 different wrong exits in a 10 minute period and thus being very late....one answer: Laugh.


 Number 6: Flirt with each other. One its fun, two it feels good, three, it reminds you that being married really rocks.

"Number 7: Life is heaven when you're true to your mate... number 8 don't still or break this rule for heavens sake...nanana..."  Remember the 10 commandment song?- shout out to Aunt Leah who taught me that song. It holds a good lesson: Be true. Learn to be above reproach on this one. I had to learn in dating  with Mr. Benjamin that my friendships, especially the guy ones needed to change. I learned to make Ben my #1 with my jokes, with my secrets, with my funny stories, everything....Make your husband/wife number one with the things you share. Learn to not be emotionally intimate or physically intimate (more obvious) with anyone else, even in innocence. Be true even in those small ways so that s/he's the first and some times only with everything.


Number 8 Talk well about each other in public, and be intentional about showering love/respect on your spouse. While it honestly does make the other person feel like a rockstar, it has the surprising effect of making you feel like the luckiest gal/guy in the world that you're with that hunky rockstar.

Number 9: "Yes!" " Sure!" " You betcha!" " I'd love to!" Look for ways to say these word to your spouse. Get in the habit of it. It'll benefit you and your spouse.


Number 10 Extend Grace and realize "I'm just as new at this as He/She is." Giving each other grace to grow and being humble enough to realize you too need to figure things out is a surprisingly wonderful gift. When I give Ben as much Grace as I give my friends or even myself... I'm amazed at just how much more we get along. I would never get angry over my friend forgetting to pick certain things up, or for not reading my mind (ridiculous....but true) So I shouldn't treat him with less grace then I do my own friends. I'm learning this one.

Number 11: When I think I'm above reproach and "I'm TOTALLY Right on this one and Ben is 100 percent wrong."...I dare myself to pray. And guess what....20 minutes later, I'm walking back to Ben humbled with apologetic words instead of accusations.

God really is always the answer. He always restores relationships especially marriages-if I'm willing to lay down my pride and allow Him to work..

Number 12: Realize that while this marriage was a commitment between a husband and wife, God is in control and he is for your marriage. It's hard to put two imperfect people in one marriage and tell them to share everything and to sacrificially love each other even when its not fair or doesn't feel good, but  (with the exception of abusive relationships or relationships that have infidelity, )that's exactly what God intended for it to be. Its hard, even 8 months in and its hard, but it really is magical how much love grows and respect grows, and the way I've begun to understand God grows....


I Hope those that are in marriage are feeling a little more encouraged, or maybe God's using it to show areas that you can love on your spouse more (Even writing it I feel that way...)I really do love talking with other women about marriage, singleness, or just plain life. If you want to talk or hear some encouragement you know how to reach us!

Haha, I love my friends....

2.27.2011

 

 
My awesome college roomate Aubrey just sent this over to me via facebook. I basically peed my pants laughing. Ben kept looking over very confused. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

I really really do.

P.s. feel free to make your own rendition, I already want to try to convince Ben too.....

little confessions

2.24.2011

The irony of what I'm about to share....

Two things.

First, I decided to wear my bracelet for my 21 day challenge again today, and I stand with droopy shoulders to say at day 2, I realize I really like to complain. Ben is a amazing sympathizer. He even says things like " I can see why that would bother you..." even when I'm talking about random things like feeling bloated (TMI, sorry-but seriously the man is like my personal therapist.) So its definitely a struggle when he asks "How was your day?" and when I say "great!" he then proceeds to ask me the details....that's when I start to squirm. By the end, I'm trying to sugarcoat my complaining with sweet things about how I'm 'learning something from it' (yeah..like I like to complain) and 'growing.'
Needless to say, my first day of the twenty-one day challenge ( that I started yesterday,) is going to have to start again tomorrow.

Second. I haven't even told you about this yet, but I decided to not shop for clothes until the very sweet day that I wear all the clothes in my closet (many of you women are shaking your head, already knowing the task that it is.) Day 2 of deciding to do this, and I found 3 ADORABLE clothing blogs from ridiculously witty ladies one of which is here/here.
So obviously after looking at all of these clothing articles, what does a girl like to do? yeah...the thing I committed to wait to do until....a million years from now (I'm being dramatic, but it might actually time that long, Literally.)
You know its bad when I decide I need to be more 'giving' and go through my closet to give stuff to goodwill. Reality? I'm trying to collect more stuff just so i can get closer to that goodwill to go peek inside.

Oh, consumerism....
But alas, I am determined. I'm even taking pictures of my outfits to chronicle my success that I might show you weekly (if I actually chronicle it well.) So, to no-complaining and no shopping...You will not win, even if i am puppy-dogging pages on the internet for my 'birthday.'


P.S. This definitely is another switch the bracelet over moment. 
P.S.S. I'm pretty sure I sound the same way I sounded as a thirteen year old girl to my mother.

True Story


True Story.

*From weheartit.com

21 Day Challenge

2.23.2011

I've been reading this really awesome book:
 
And its been one of the most convicting books I've read. I like marriage books ( especially wanting to go into marriage counseling.) I generally read through a lot of these books and they act as a refresher from what I've learned from previous books/pre-marital counseling/ college. But not this book.

This book strikes at the core of not just working towards being a better partner in marriage, but how we interact with others and with God. Each chapter I read, I've been taking a while to just let it soak in, and Let me tell you, God has really been using this book to change me. 
In just the second chapter, she talks about a story where a pastor encouraged his congregation to go on a "21-day challenge" of not grumbling, complaining or saying anything negative. He then handed out wrist bands for the members to wear, and each time they said a complainative word, they would switch the bracelet to the other hand. It allowed for the members to realize just how much negative comes out of their mouth.

She produces several biblical support to back up the notion that God desires for us to be positive in our outlook and in our lives. She highlights that  what we allow out of mouths really are from our hearts. 
"But the words you speak come from the heart--that's what defiles you."
Mathew 15:18
And encourages the reader to essentially do Philippians 4:8
 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

 The church congregation actually took a poll on how long it took the congregation to average member to complete the challenge. It takes an average of 4 to 8 months to go a consecutive 21 days without grumbling or complaining! When the pastor was interviewed at the end of the first 21 days, he told the local newspaper that he himself has only been able to go a consecutive 6 hours before having to switch the bracelet.

Hopefully it doesn't take me that long! 

1st day update
Pro: I bought a cute bracelet to wear that will match everything! woot!
Ouch: Within the first hour I switched it over 3 times. I notice my complaining is  more of the joking 'haha, look how funny this bad situation is.." but it still was complaining, just a more sophisticated version. I wonder if the lovely girl I grabbed coffee with noticed me switching my bracelet over with every conversation shift. It probably looked like a nervous habit....Oy vey. 
This will be a very very good lesson.

Ben and I just peed our pants laughing

Steak & Shake: Delish

Branson Wax Museum

Before the wedding, Ben and I had some extra time to spare, we had gotten all our shopping done (and I found a lovely dress for an event we're going to!) So, we decided, with our extra time to go to the Wax museum there in Branson. Ben had never been to one. It was such a riot. Here are some of the pictures:
can you tell which one is real? :P
If you know us, you know that this was a dream come true. NACCHOOOOOOO!
Haha, this is definitely one of my favorites


 a little creepy of me, but He was my very first movie crush ever. I heart Hugh Jackman :P



Pretty cool, eh?

P.S. Awesome Road Trip moment #4 having a young man pronounce our name "sprague" like "sage" with a hard G in a southern accent no less...Ben comment ' wow, I've never heard that one before..'
Well done Missouri, you amaze us everyday.

Awesome Road Trip Moment #3

2.19.2011

When we finally reached the awesome state of

Missouri!

Ben took me to a shop that I have been longing to go to since my freshman year of college (talk about making dreams happen)

Awesome roadtrip moment #3: Red Velvet
It was so amazing getting to go to the Red Velvet Shop, meet Emma (and Elsie wandered in while we were leaving, I bought a few precious things and was so so so happy over the cupcakes, the bow tie ben bought for a sweet photoshoot we have planned and the joy of crossing yet another hope off my list.

P.S I have so many things to show you. Like sweet images of the shoppe, going to a sweet burger joints and craziness like this:
Yes, that is king kong. we saw the titanic and a giant Mexican man too. Pretty magical.

Brendan's getting married TODAY! Craziness

Awesome Road Trip Moment #1

2.17.2011

Driving along, the little ceasar mascot, you know this guy:


 
Was out trying to sell pizzas. Some poor kid was wearing this.
 when he got a wedgie, and proceeded to try to pick it ON THE STREET CORNER.
                                                    I nearly drove off the road laughing.
I sypmathize for the poor boy or girl....but it really was awesome.

Awesome Road Trip Moment #2
Finding incredible pictures of Little Caesars Mascots like the one above.
Which p.s. allows me to relive that moment all over again.

Goodnight.

Little thoughts about life: This Jesus

2.15.2011

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! 1 John 3:1 (NLT)
I've set out this excellent year of 2011 to discover more about Christ and have not been disappointed. At the end of January, and now starting February, I find myself surprised, delighted and amazed at just how awesome Christ is and was.  There's so much joy in the knowledge that our Savior is in control of our circumstances, and yet weeps with us through trials and rejoices with us in our triumphs.

All my life I've struggled with performance. As a PK (pastor's kid) there was a continual pressure to make sure to not do anything that would cause my family or myself a reputation we wouldn't want to have. I think that in effort to protect our family from the potential heartache that comes with ministry, my parents worked hard to teach us and train us to perform well under the eyes of those that were quick to point out our failures. I think I'm not alone in this. I don't think its a issue that plagues just us 'ministry kids;' I think any individual that has claimed to be living a life for Christ finds themselves under scrutiny. Never the less, this idea of performing and performing well has influenced my walk with Christ for many years.

Often I find myself trying to earn my salvation, and if not my salvation then I've bought in to the idea that after he saved me, now I have to make sure I never screw up again. The idea of failing him (which I clearly have already done) is a huge issue for me. .

A few days ago I was thinking about this issue. I was thinking to myself how even when I try to not perform, that in itself is a form of performance. Stressed with this idea, and feeling yet again like I've failed, I heard His voice in my heart asking me a question. " How do you pay your dad back for giving you life?"

I was struck at the oddity of the question, and simply answered "I don't. I can't"
I then heard the reply, "Then why do you keep trying to pay me back for giving you eternal life?"

This small sentence has really changed the way I've seen my Lord. My physical father and I have a really strong relationship. I know in my heart he always has had my best interest at heart because I am his child. I know he has a pride in me, not from my accomplishments, but in the fact that I am part of his family. I delight in living a life that lines with the precepts of my youth and I find contentment in knowing that I honor him. There's a pride I take in being a 'Thompson.' My actions are not to win my dad's approval, because he's already given it to me. I strive to do good, from his love and acceptance, not for it.

It is from this concept of my own earthly dad that I'm beginning to deepen my understanding of our Savior or our eternal Father. My dad's unconditional love, in the midst of discipline, the idea that he always knows whats best for me, the knowledge he has wisdom and he won't lead me astray, all these things that my dad has exampled, have such a far reaching depth when I consider the depths of how Christ loves us. 

 I know not everyone has an example like this. Actually, very few of my friends have had a father challenge them to delve deeper into Christ or even to pursue Christ at all. This concept of Jesus being a 'father' makes it hard for them to even consider approaching him, especially if what Christ is, is like what their dad was....

I don't really know what to say to that, except that Christ really is the answer. He loves us like better than any earthly dad could and guides us and watches out for us in such a deep way its remarkable. Christ doesn't screw up, leave our moms, or tell us we won't amount to anything. In fact, he tells us that, if we put our trust in Him, we won't be defeated and then, when we fail..He covers our failures with his blood and he takes on the punishment of those failures so we don't have to. He completely wipes them away and the things we once did and were aren't true about us anymore.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
2 Corinthians 5:21

I really love Jesus. I love the sweet message he brings to me, and how refreshing and reassuring that message is to someone who has lived her life feeling she may screw up just enough and not be enough to be granted his salvation, or his approval. I love that this same message is true for someone who feels they have done too many things in opposition to Christ to ever be back in his grace.  The fact that we can never ever do anything that puts us out of his love. That all we have to do is accept that love and grace and embrace him as our Savior and Lord. That before I had ever acknowledge him and was living my life completely contrary to him...he loved me still and died for me still.
8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romance 5:8

I love that Christ sees me as I am, everyday and still finds me precious and perfect in Him, while knowing where I am failing. I love the way he moves in my life to show me those areas where I haven't put him first, where I'm not living my life the way He's called us to.

The fact that our God is not Dead, that he is Alive and in fact, he has no expiration date; his wisdom is still valid, and is still all powerful. The fact that he's thought out ever last detail,  like remembering to bring breath into my lungs and to give me the makeup to trigger joyful feelings when great experiences happen in my life, all of this makes me conclude: We serve a good God. He doesn't forget the hurting, the dying, the broken. He allows us to rejoice and find joy in life, He carries us through and showers his peace and mercy all around us.

He hasn't forgotten about you,
or me
and the fact is its never, ever, too late to run to him.

..this Jesus is the only true example of genuine unconditional love, I hope we don't go through our whole life, not allowing ourselves to experience the awesome love he offers. I hope that I don't settle for just enough of Jesus, so that I don't have to give up anything I don't want to. I hope when that day comes you and I can take joy that we have on earth felt the utmost fulfillment of Christ that we could, and that we can be so pumped at what lies ahead after this life: getting to experience his awesomeness all the more. This Jesus is all we ever hoped a savior would be and then more.

woo! I love Jesus.

What a beautiful day for love...

2.14.2011

Tulips, cheesy cards, star-trek movies, pretties, chocolates,  making dinner together, telling secrets under covers, laughter....

Lovely.

Even though its a hallmark holiday, I love that we have an official day for love.

Winter Love

2.13.2011


You know you have a special kind of man when he's willing to go run out into the snow to get pictures with you for no real reason.

You know you have a VERY special man when he tells me "don't worry about it" when grown men tease us for said picture taking.

I'm a blessed woman, with a handful of pictures that attest to that fact.

Our future child and our future car :P

Gettin ready....

We're Blushing!

2.09.2011



We reached over 10,000 views yesterday. Although we're pretty sure half of that number is from our moms, (Hi, momma thompson, momma sprague!) The other half are from all our friends from around the world! thats right THE WORLD!


One cool thing about blogger is that it lets you see what countries have stumbled upon this site, and we get so excited to see just how far all our friends live. We have friends not just from the US, but also from India, China, Spain, Canada, Denmark, Switzerland, France, Germany, Ecuador, Mexico, Isreal, Slovenia and even the Czech Republic (Hi AMY!) We are so honored to know you all, and would be so excited if you let us know who you all are. If you make a regular visit to our humble little blog, we're asking that you become one of our friends over to your right, or leave a comment, so we can go and visit you all (especially if you have a blog of your own!)


Its such an honor to get to share our hopes and struggles with our families and friends. Thanks for all the love and support you've already given us!


We're excited to see just who we get to meet in the next couple weeks.


Love, Ben and Brittany

Epic Fail

2.08.2011

{Talking about our future children}


Brittany: What do you think about Lynne Christine?
Ben: I dont really like the name Lynne.
Brittany:[Silence]
Ben:[Silence]...oh! I'm so Sorry! babe....
Brittany [Silence]You love it as a middle name though..right?
Ben: I love it as a middle name...
Brittany: Fail.


Haha. Epic Fail Number One.
[P.s. Ben has given me permission to post this. After much scorning, we laugh about it...now]

Zombocom

2.07.2011



www.zombo.com


In other news:
Ben: What is that?
Brittany:"..i bought baby oil instead of lotion"
Ben: " Oil from babies?"
Brittany: You're ridiculous.
Ben: "Whale oil...made from whales....baby oil....[insert 'its obvious' face here]
Brittany: " Oil...made from babies..."


Yes, our lives are that awesome.


over and out

Oh-So-Thankful!

2.06.2011


Awesome Things about this week:

1. Filed our taxes, and are making bank. (getting married=very good decision) God is good.
2. Get to see my sister today and watch the packers win, W00t (even if they dont, it will be recorded in history that I predicted they will)
3. The beautiful frost that happened yesterday. Every tree was completely iced over. It was beautiful.

4. Jeremy and Renee's Wedding! And those butterfly moments I get when Ben looks a)incredibly good in a new shirt. b) dances like no ones business and c) I come to the realization that I get to be with that handsome man for life.

5. The new found fact that i have the uncanny to speak very fluent-sounding gibberish in my sleep (sorry Ben for the wake-up at 2 AM.)
6. Having a very loud, very excited woman comment on how GORGEOUS my bag was in the check-out line: " The style, The color! the flower! IT's GORGEOUS! and the awkwardness that followed. All I could say out of shock was " It's a camera bag"
 It really was sweet.
7. Dr. Pepper
8. Sunday mornings, and encounters with Jesus
9. New pants for 7.00, especially when I had spent the past 3 weeks trying to find a pair, and then found a perfect pair, in 3 different colors, and for 7 DOLLARS!
10. Husbands that set the bar high by demonstrating sacrificial love=my husband.


Hope you all have an incredible week, and as you're looking back on this one, you're filled with joy!