Crazy Brain


I don't think I ever heard from all the mommas I know that they spent hours researching cribs, strollers, car-seats, etc. But I'm sure they do based on the millions of web-pages dedicated to such searches. Nor have I heard too many talk about them forgetting their keys, their homework, or their computer laptop cords, or  how much a cookie or ramen seems to motivate them to get up and clean the house or do other things rather than take a nap. But this has been my experience.

There is something definitely different about being pregnant in the way my brain functions. To the point where reading systematic theology about death and heaven has me all weepy and the idea of Ben and our baby makes me stay up late at night wondering about how crazy awesome its gonna be. (which probably attributes to the forgetfulness of everything else.) It has me emotionally moved by every commercial with puppies or skittles, or desserts and has me verbally commenting on movies and t.v. shows on accident. Typically in a scolding way. (The 'Tisk" that my mom always used to do is coming out...weird.)  It's something else, folks. I'm workin' on keeping it under control.

I know I've told a few of you all, but Ben and I decided on cloth diapers. I'll probably write a post on the why's and the hows-since all the other cloth-diaper moms out there seem to have fun writing about it (and I want to tell all those newbie other cloth-diaper moms (hi friends.) that they're not alone when they feel like crying at how many choices there are.) But I gotta tell you, some of this stuff is ridiculous. I have however, in the midst of research all things baby, reading all sorts of books offered to us, and figuring out how to just chill-learned a few things that have saved my brain and emotional well-being the past few weeks.

  • For starters-Ben makes really good decisions. That man knows how to pick diapers, to car seats to you name it. And not in the silly "yeah, that's cool." But in the 'I appreciate the snaps on this, and really like this feature, We're gonna go with this one." kind of decision making. It has saved me. Thanks Ben, my tear-ducts thank you. (as you know full well.)
  • The minute exciting news happens, within 20-30 minutes it will be met with horrific stories. From Labor and Delivery, crazy gender mutations, you name it. Which leaves Brittany doing extensive research reading legit studies on the probability of these occurring. Research Methods Class on Steroids.  Then, leaves me calling my mom and having her reassure me I'm not gonna die or get a mutant baby. Lesson I've learned: Skip all the research, and just call the mom. For some reason my mom saying 'that's ridiculous!" and giving a quite well formed bit on about how good Jesus is has been far  more assuring than a 98% probability of something not happening. Dear mother, I love you and I love your love of Jesus.

  • Cookies are really good. Baby likes cookies.
  • All a baby really needs is a car seat to take it home in, some cloths to keep it warm, some form of food, something to catch said food once digested, and a bed. The rest can be figured out along the way. To find all those things, there's books or there's websites like that do all sorts of customer reviews. 
  • Mom's who tell me repeatedly "This was my experience, but it may not be yours, but just in case here's what I learned" are the best mom's ever. They lend advice in the most reassuring way, then qualify it just in case my kid is totally different. I like those moms. I really like those moms. I  hope to be like those moms. 
  • Jesus loves this baby even more than I do. And is even better at taking care of it. If Ben and I totally screw up on this one, God is able to do far better than we ever did and reshape any damage caused. I look at our life-our crazy mistakes-and see how God has even redeemed those. Parenting while looking to Him for direction and I think we're gonna be alright. This baby is gonna be. Just. Fine. Even better than fine. 
  • Baby kicks are bomb. (That's the first time I've ever used that saying. I hope I said it right. Kari can correct me if misused) 
  • Sisters who give you access to all their baby stuff make this whole transition 100, 1000X easier. Thanks for paving the way, Bre and being so gracious to tell me the things I need and don't need. One hour conversation with you leaves me far more at peace then the giant excel sheet I have listing all the things we may or may not need. You obliterated a good 80 percent of the list by your advice and your generosity. I love you.
  • When concerned with my lack of maturity due to my incessant need to stop myself from saying lame things like "Your mom," or talking about things that aren't always appropriate for the occasion, I remember that I have 22 years on this little nugget, so by the time our baby is making use of these sayings I may (or may not) have matured considerably. If not-Ben's pretty mature, he'll balance it all out.  If that doesn't work, at least they may actually say something funny-or we'll get to know their teachers better and get good at talking about comedic timing and when certain phrases are appropriate.  (Ben' will probably have to lead that conversation-I fail at both) 
  • People that celebrate with you with happy laughs and high fives make me want to hug and squeeze them and never let go. There's a special sort of feeling I get for them. And really really want to make sure I get that excited for others. It's teaching me a whole new way of lifting people up. Hopesters are awesome at this.
  • Both Ben and My mom's reactions to happy news make this entire pregnancy a gazillion times more joy filled. I love how those ladies celebrate. It puts any excitement I had, after hearing them on the phones a billion times more excited. They give me joy unspeakable. 
  •  Again, Cookies really. Really are delicious. So is Ramen. (the whole sweet-salty thing was never an indication of this pregnancy. The two are delicious no matter what is growing inside of me.This will be true till death-then heaven will be filled with both I suspect.) Yum.
  • God has been so good to us through this whole thing. His track record in our lives would attest to the fact that he's carried us through. He'll keep carrying us through this as well.  
I think that suffices, Any moms (Or friends of moms) have some awesome wisdom that makes pregnancy all the better? Wisdom Nuggets are my favorite. Eat um for breakfast.  



We had our ultrasound yesterday! While we're still figuring out fun ways to tell the news to you all, I just wanted to write about it so I don't forget. There's something about seeing that little heartbeat, and its little feet. I remember when looking at our baby, before we find out what gender it was and kept thinking " I don't care what it is, I love it." I'm already getting good at the tearing up and cooing over that little spraguelet.  We found out the gender, and we were pretty excited. We had listed why we'd be excited for either last night so we really were pretty happy with whatever we heard. Needless to say we're pleased, and I just keep daydreaming about the special bond Ben and the baby will have, and all the things we'll get to teach that sweet thing.

Hopefully we'll create our fun way to tell you all oh-so-soon. (We want to make a fun video-because any opportunity to make a fun video should be taken) But in the meantime, thanks for all your prayers. :) Our baby looks healthy and happy. :)  and is 1 week and a half longer than it should be (we got one lanky baby!)

19 weeks!



So pumped.

Most of our family is thinking girl, and it seems the majority of you all think so too! Well, we'll definitely see. I have a few girlfriends, and my sister that aren't so sure. We've got major pro's for both girl, or boy, so either way, we're excited to officially know.  

Happy Weekend.

Perseverance of the Saints:Early morning thoughts


Its 4:57 AM. Four. Fifty. Seven. The light outside just went out, I guess signifying its morning. Blame it on pregnancy, but for some reason I've been up, since about 30 minutes ago thinking about that title. I was reading Grudem, a nice big book in systematic theology and that was the reading this week.

When I was a kid, I remember someone asking me what it took to be 'saved.' I responded that it took a belief in Jesus as your savior, and believing He died for your sins. If you were to ask me now, I'd probably say the same thing. What I struggle with now is what I see of my friends and old friends who at one point in time were seemingly in full agreement, but who now years later, don't necessarily believe this. So, I sort of hope they do, and carry on my days.

In truth, at any given point in time, I think a person's christian walk can seem a little fuzzy. The "fruit" were told to look for might not be blossoming like crazy, as I can attest to in my own spiritual walk with Christ, but I DO think one thing stays the same. I think those who truly believe in Christ, hold on to the faith (sometimes by a thread) that Jesus is their savoir, and he died for their sins and they rely on that and that alone for salvation.

While I believe that in full, I've noticed a tendency of my culture to try and make it more of an intellectual agreement. "Here take a survey." and as my peers take said survey, when they see the question "Do you believe Jesus is who he says he is?" they look from 1-strongly disagree to 5-strongly agree, say "Eh, I'm somewhere in the middle" and do the same for questions like "Do you believe he died for your sins?" "Do you believe he is Lord and Guide of your life?" at the end, they're told "Oh, you hold christian beliefs!"

To which I would say no-not really.

If I have errored in my speaking (which i can most certainly say I have,) I think it would be in the 'easy grace' nature I've talked. I think often in desperate hopes of my friends coming to the faith of Christ-which if you ask me, is the most life-changing, awesome decision one can make-I have searched like a mad scientist for any and all slight signs of christian agreement. I'm the one passing out the surveys. When they think and verbally ascend "Oh, that sounds cool." I too easily shout hoorah and think they've made that glorious decision and are on their path to true discipleship in Christ. I then challenge it no further.

This is a gross error.

It would be the equivalent of planting a seed, watering it, and seeing a nice baby sprout. I seeing this sprout, get STOKED and then allow it to be moved to the basement. A few weeks later, i go to check in and see how its doing and seeing it shriveled up and dead, I am flabbergasted that it could have happened. How could this be?  I saw growth just two weeks ago!?

We're all sprouts, folks and in some part responsible for our growth. And whether I'm now a thriving plant due to years of growth, or I'm withering, one thing always is the fix. Water and sun. The beauty of the cross and of the christian faith is there is no point when that seed gets tossed out with the dirt. God raises things from the dead-its kind of His thing. I need the sun-which is communion with Jesus through reading His word, and being in prayer and I need water-being in community with other believers. My responsibility as the plant is showing up. God grows me, but if I refuse with my excuses of business, or my constant reliance on "I'll worry about that tomorrow," (I'm preaching to myself, here) God is not a forceful God-and he lets me do as I demand.

When I decide that I can go even a few days without either, I see very obvious signs of death creeping. Whats so funny to me, is that in my own life, I see my withered spiritual state and think "Eh, its not so bad." And then, when sin is running rampant in my life and I haven't seen God moving I get angry with God. "Why didn't you make my plant grow! No, no, I don't want the word, and I don't want community-do it a different way."

Its stupid on my part, as much as it is to say that I don't want air and food to survive anymore-"God provide another way!" Can God do it? yeah, technically-but that's not the way he intended it, and food and air are good; the best actually in sustaining my life. Yet, why do I reject the things he says are the best regarding my spiritual life?

Perseverance of the saints is the action by those who choose to believe and throw everything into the identity of Christ. Its when after that decision, tomorrow we choose the same thing. And the next day too. The call to salvation is that we have to continually, daily believe. Its not just a one-time survey and you're good to go. Just because I vote democratic once, doesn't mean I'm a democrat. The christian faith is the same, just because I voted that Jesus is nice and I overall agree with who he is, doesn't mean I identify with Him. This is something I've been challenged with personally.

The question comes up. How can I know if I'm presevering? I think we can know we are persevering as we examine God's activity in our lives. If we've decided that Christ is our all and repented for our sins, over time, we can see God moving in our life and we can see how community and the Word are transforming our life. Maybe not every second (the christian life is a life of struggle, with sin with moments of doubt, and more.) but We can 'look at our spiritual plant.' and SEE God growing it through time. Even if that means we're being challenged when before we weren't challenged. Or we are finding sin in our life that we never even knew was there. That deserves a praise-you-Jesus.

I would caution however,  that even if growth is there, if we choose in our state to stop being feed and not be in community-we will see our spiritual life grow weak. So I tell myself, FEED the THING!

And at the end of the day I can rely on the fact that God is the one growing me. And God is faithful that once he has begun a good work, he's not going to quit:

3I thank my God every time I remember you. 4In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1

Where are you guys at? Are you relying on Jesus to be your Savior? Your Lord and Guide? Are you deciding that today? How are you growing in that decision, if its been made?

Thats all I got on that.

Over and Out.



* the walks Ben and I have been taking, especially the one when the street lights went on, and ben showed me all his knowledge about constellations,
*Awesome hip-hop dance sessions that occur during cool movie credits. Ben's got some moves, folks. 
* Birdies singing when we wake up.
* Seeing Ben at buy buy baby and peapod, and seeing him put on baby wraps and slings as the lady showed him how to do it. That man has some confidence.
* Reflecting on LDI, whether or not it has been worth it, and remembering how God has been faithful,
*Fun little coffee dates.
 * Seeing God provide. 
* This weather!
* Ben and I talking about ministry-where I fit, where he fits, and where we feel like Jesus is calling us.
* These past few weeks we keep laughing about how opposite we are, and yet how complimentary that's become. We've also been noticing how our used-to-be polar differences have sort of morphed into both of us being less of what we were and more of what the other is. 
* Hearing Ben talk about relient K, Dominion, and all of his other passions.
*Getting to see my sister, Casey and her boys this past week,
*Scheduling our ultrasound for a week from TODAY!
*Watching Ben and seeing him in a whole new way as he begins to plan for our family.
*Marveling at God's creation

God is faithful.

Hi Baby! 18 weeks





We go to the doctor today and probably will be finding out what it is within the next week, so I thought it would be fun to see what you all think.

Dear John #32


I don't know when it exactly happened, but there came a point, when every time I thought of you I naturally thought of myself with you. "Ben and Brittany, Brittany and Ben." I belong right there in speech, in thought and in presence. 

Spring Break!


Spring Break is this week for all of us LDI guys and gals!

This means a few things: 1.) Its a quiet time of getting caught up on all the things that have been neglected the past few weeks (erm, hi laundry,) and all those fun projects I've been wanting to work on are finally being completed. For instance! I finally completed my knitted-cowl which I started at the start of this winter (I'll show you in my 18 week post-even though now its spring), I took a part an old table I found in the dumpster, and turned the table top into a frame. It looks awesome, all swirly edges and what-not but is still in progress, finished making a dress, hemmed up some pants, working on a spring- wreath and I've been getting to organize and clean, with  my windows OPEN (72 degree high today!)

2.) It's allowing me some special time to think about our baby, what we really need to get, how we want to parent our kids (Thanks Momma Sprague for the revolutionary parenting book/dvd series-so far it rocks!) and just processing what a blessing this spraguelet is.

3.) It's allowing me to see just how much I fill my life with misc. busyness thats unnecessary. Ben and I for Lent (we've never practiced it before, but felt God asking us to give some stuff up, and it happened to coincide with the date-actually, we didn't know the date, so we started late-nevertheless) have given up a few things. For him, he's taking a rest from video-gaming, and I've been taking a rest from pinterest, reading blogs, etc. It's been sort of weird (but seemingly God-related) how its allowing me to be content with all the things, relationships, and financial resources God's given me. It's also allowing me to spend more time examining and using all of those, rather than spending hours getting my appetite wet for more.

It's allows me and Ben to find new things to do with each other. Walks, watching ridiculous videos on youtube, dominion, more talking about life and babies, hearing awesome stories about Ben (that man is amazing), more walks, seeing real-life- deloreans on our walks! and other fun things. We're becoming better friends.

 It also helps that we just went to the Weekend to Remember Retreat put on by Family Life Today. It was so good! Ben and I were encouraged in a lot of the decisions we've been making, and really were able to talk in a deeper way about our relationship.  If you want to go, and live in the area, there's still one in Rochester! Click here to find more about the places it'll be. It's awesome. Do it.

Then, to follow it up with not filling all our extra time with how we normally do, I can see how God, being the good God He is, has allowed the timing to be impeccable for spiritual and relationship growth (Nice work, Jesus, nice work. )

That being said, the blog itself has taken a bit of a more quiet turn. Mostly because I've been avoiding my computer, but also because there's always that need to do in order to write about what you're doing.

In the meantime, I realized I had yet to share with you all a post a did a few weeks ago about LDI and what God's doing in my life through it. You can read it here.  We talk about ewoks. so thats always a worthwhile click. Due to this post, a few Hopesters have started calling our future child ewok or chewy, (which by the way, little fact-o-the-day chewbaca is a wookie, not an ewok, but its all related to the future hairiness of our child-so it works.) We think its funny and get a good chuckle every time.

Never the less, God is faithful.

Over and Out

Hi Baby! 17 weeks



Babies are cool.

Ben telling me funny things about our babies is the coolest.

Weekend to Remember


We're excited! This weekend Ben and I will be going to the "weekend to remember" here in MPLS. It's a retreat for married couples. Ben and I decided when we first got married to try and find something each year that would specifically be focused on bettering our marriage, and we really felt this would be a good thing to go to. Here's some of there promotional videos they have. I cry every time! :)

Hope you have a great weekend. See on Monday!

Favorite Film Fest Video. Ever.


For your special enjoyment. And so we always have the link to enjoy ourselves forever. 

Dear John #31


707 Film Fest--Ben's a Stud


This past weekend we went to Film Fest, the brain child of Shannon Martin, a fellow LDIer. It's like the mini-Oscars of Hope, where small groups make 5 minute videos in different genres, and they win awards for best use of prop, best female performance, etc. It's magical.  

So, as is true-form, we got decked out and had quite the fun.  I got to play the role of paparazzi for the evening, which was a blast and Ben managed to look studly the entire night. 


Here's the cast of the LDI's fim. We had a film noir piece. You can see it  here 
This was the first time we had gone, so we were pretty jazzed after wards. It's amazing. Weekend well spent. 


Here's a few others: 707 Videos

Hi Baby! 16 Weeks