If you're chasing, it wont stop running.


When I was a wee girl, I remember there was a boy who would chase me around and say mean things. This was no fun. One day I told my dad about said boy. and my dad was awesome. A part from him telling the boy "So YOURE the one being mean to my daughter?" which scared the boy away forever,  he also told me some awesome advise which is the premise of this entire post. "If you stop running, he'll stop chasing you." I didn't believe him. Soon later, yet another bully came into the scene (I had frizzy hair, freckles and very large front teeth-this seemed to make boys make fun of me, (or have the hotts for me-the world will never know)) and this new boy would do just as boy 1 did.. Except this time I stopped running and what do you know, He started chasing someone else.

It was magic.

Years later, I catch myself being the chaser. No, I am not chasing boys, already got me one of those. I'm chasing all sorts one thing:contentment. At First it was "good grades' then it was 'boyfriend, then it was 'college degree' then it was 'boyfriend/husband.' These things promised a sort of contentment that I had yet to experience. Yes, if I just had that-while it wouldn't fill me ENTIRELY, boy it sure would make this life just dandy.

I've found that no matter what station in life, there is still something I chase after. All you single ladies, sorry to tell you this-it doesn't go away.

I think all agree that the thinking "if i just had THIS [insert think we really want here] then I would be COMPLETELY happy" is a lie.  but I'm not so sure I'm convinced that this isn't true"If i just had this, then I'd be a wee bit more happy. " So what do I do? I chase it.

Why does it get me every time? Probably because there's some truth to it. Part of the joys of life are the exciting new things. Going to college, getting that first job, buying that first car, adjusting to marriage, buying a home, moving to some new places, all of these are exciting and new and I've tasted some of these as have you. And I've felt it the excitement.

Knowing this 'wee-bit' happy think  is at least somewhat true-I  choose to sit and think of all the great things that would be oh-so-exciting if I just had them now.. And BAM I'm stuck in discontentment land.

In fact, (here's a little silliness for you) I was actually pretty bummed for an entire week over a target wicker chest. Yeah. Lame. I know. And yet, I was convinced, if i just had that,  my home would be a little more complete, and thus I'd be a little more happy. Did i really let something wicker steal my joy? Yes. Yes i did.

And here's the real reason why:

I am still convinced that the stuff in this world will make me more happy than Jesus does. If I had my home look like Pier 1, if I had a better body, nicer wardrobe, more followers, a sweeter resume, better education, closer friends, maybe even a baby on the way! Boy then, then I'll arrive, just a bit more.

What is crazy to me is just how age old my heart problem is. 3000 years ago, Solomon wrote about this same thing:

All the toil of man is for his mouth, yet his appetite is not satisfied. For what advantage has the wise man over the fool? And what does the poor man have who knows how to conduct himself before the living? Better is the sight of the eyes than the wandering of the appetite: this also is vanity and a striving after wind.
Ecclesiastes 6:7-9

So whats a girl to do?

To be honest, I think a lot of it is actually admiting to God just how much I don't trust him to be enough. And actually tell him whats going on in my heart. "You know, I dont think you satisfy, I know you do in my mind, yet my heart goes against that. I don't get why I keep doing it and I'm sorry. I need you to change me."  I think the other part, is actually focusing on all God is doing in my life.

I can look through this whole blog and see how blessed I am. I can look through the whole BIBLE and see how blessed I am. Who Am I that God would set up a plan to invite me into his presence? But He loves and has spent all of time communicating that to his people. He owns everything I have and yet he's loaned it to me. He's given me life. He's given me salvation. Whats crazy is you are blessed with the exact same thing as I am. We are a blessed people, chosen by a Holy God, who wants to have a relationship with us and declare his awesomeness. And I get to join him by just believing?! We got it good.

I want to flood my mind with verses like this:

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”Hebrews 13:5

And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”Luke 12:15

And become convinced of this:

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.  Habakkuk 3:16-18
I dont want to chase anymore. And I think today's a good day to stop running.

Over and Out

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