In Two Years of Marriage I've Learned...


We're celebrating our TWO year anniversary this week!

I've been pondering over this post for a while now, and am excited to share it. I was especially excited to read last years and then to build off that. God really is faithful in continuing to grow us. In this past year of marriage I've learned...

* Just how blessed I am to have a husband who takes his role as a husband so seriously. He's quick to listen and when we have conversations about our marriage, it always leaves me feeling so blessed to be in relationship with him.

* When considering the (Lord willing) 50-60 years of marriage we'll get to experience together, issues-even crisis seem much smaller and are easier to move past. When we're in our 40's this [insert issue here] really won't be an issue anymore. If it is, God will be faithful in working in it then just like he's doing now.

* "Spouses sin against us the most out of anyone. " This means a lot of forgiveness gets to happen. A lot of remembering  it's a two way street gets to happen: I sin against Ben more than anyone else sins against him. Humility for breakfast. Apologetic language gets to be a regular practice in our home.

*Being forgiven authentically, and forgiving the other authentically is by far the most freeing feeling. It's also by far the hardest thing to give or accept. Anticipating the need of forgiveness makes forgiving easier.

 *Relationships change you either positively or negatively. For me its been positive.. I've become stronger in my faith, better at loving, and more compassionate because of Ben's example. His character still impresses me.

*Before shooting off my mouth, praying prior changes everything.

*Shortly after I've decided that nothing-even 'that'- will cause me to stop moving towards my spouse-that thing somehow happens. Marriage lets me practice my talk more than anything else I've experienced. Christ has moved into my heart in areas I didn't even know he went to.

*After hardships pass and are dealt with by encouraging each other, the relationship seems 10 times more solid. Laughter comes 10 times more easily.

* Friendship like this is the most wonderful thing I've ever experienced.

*The benefits of being married to Ben far outweigh any responsibilities.

*Attention giving to ones spouse in a world that tries to steal it is harder and more necessary than one might think.

*Physical intimacy means more as relational intimacy deepens. It gets even richer. (Woot!)

*I thought I loved Ben then. I didn't have a clue. (I probably still don't know the half of it)

*I've learned what having the other persons best interest really means-or atleast a little bit more than I did before.

*Thinking "This person's needs and wants are more important than mine' allows me to move past my selfishness. This mentality allows a lot of freedom to love sacrificially. (Luckily, Ben demonstrates that he is working towards the exact same thing.)

* Having someone know me intimately-even the stories from my past that still make shake my head in sorrow-and having them know me in real time-when I do things currently that make me shake my head in sorrow- and having them love and respect me still is probably one of the most beautiful aspects of emotional intimacy. This testifies to the gospel more than anything.

*Ben has gotten even funnier over the past year.

*Ben ripens his good-looks with age. I married an improved version of George Clooney.

*Whatever area I think we've got the corner on, (I.E. "We communicate so well! We're being such good stewards of our money!") it will get challenged.   It teaches me to hold on to Ben, and not aspects of our marriage. He's who I married, not a great marriage that runs smoothly.

*Ben is a phenomenal man. I lightheartedly talk a lot about it on the blog-about his sexiness and his wittiness (which are there all the time and deserve constant mention)-but his character and his heart are solid. I can definitely see how God would see this creation and call it good. Ben is in all senses of the word "Good."

*For me, marriage has meant a whole lot less of actually changing my situations and more of me changing my perspectives. Situations have needed to be changed-and they've changed, but my perspective on how I see everything has been the thing that I most often control and has either benefited the situation or turned it to hardship. Grasping that is something I'm still learning how to do.

*My belly has gotten a good workout from all the laughter that man brings me.

*Seeing him as a dad this next year and beyond will most certainly make my heart explode.

*God is for my marriage. Seeing him work to restore, to heal, to bring joy, and to just enrich our togetherness has made me love God all the more and become more passionate about loving Ben well. God really does good. I can only imagine how beautiful this marriage will look when God's done in it. I look forward to seeing that day. Hopefully it'll happen when we both die at the exact same time and get to heaven. I'd be cool with that.  (Figure I'd throw that in there since, you know, God reads my blog.)

*Thinking I'm funny and actually being funny are two separate things-unless you have a husband who thinks its funny that you think you're funny-then you actually are funny.

*Marrying that guy is still the best decision I've made outside of following Jesus.

Last Years Lessons: here

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