Eric & Alisa // Covenant Marriage

Alisa and I met through LDI. We were the two 'married trek 1'ers' which instantly had me both relieved   and excited. It has been a blessing to share the friendship I've shared with Alisa over the past couple of years and her insights and passion for the gospel are both challenging and inspiring. While being a mom, and a barista she also is working towards becoming a personal trainer. She has a passion towards physical discipline through a gospel lens. One thing I admire is she doesn't just research, but is a woman of action,  working diligently at training her own self in several areas of life. Her blog has a focus on fitness, healthy eating, entrepreneurship, marriage/parenting  as well as several gospel insights that have left me understanding Jesus differently. Take a minute to check out her blog here.

Alisa has a baby just a little younger than Eowyn. It has been a fun journey to be pregnant, and new parents along side another friend and has definitely been a relief to get the occasional perfectly-timed text affirming that she too has some crazy days with her babe, Freyda (How amazing is that name!?) I appreciate her heart, as I think you will too as you catch a glimpse of it in her answers regarding the awesome marriage she has with her husband, Eric.

Meet Alisa:

My name is Alisa and I'm married to Eric. Eric is an Entrepreneur and Engineer. Currently he spends his time doing some contract work while building a business called I'm Futureproof and doing his darnedest to change the way the US does education for kids. I am a full-time Mom to our 6 month old daughter, Freyda and a part-time Starbucks barista. I also do my best to stay involved in ministry at our home church, Hope Community. I blog over at Becoming a Nelson about family culture, faith, marriage, and being a doer in life.  We have been married for just under 18 months.

What first attracted you to your spouse?

The first thing I noticed about Eric was how insanely attractive he is (shallow, I know, but they were different times). We met in a chemistry lab during our freshmen year in college and when we re-met at Hope, I fell in love with how deeply he thought about life and Jesus, how quirky he was, and his looks were the pile of cherries on top.
   

What has been some of the best parts of being married?

I've never had more fun in all my life than I do when it's just Eric and I. I've also never thought so much about who I really am and who Jesus really is. Eric truly is my best friend so the fact that we get to be together is often times mind blowing. It still scares me how well Eric knows me and my heart but it is also incredibly fulfilling to be known by someone so deeply. The blessing of life with Eric is unreal.

What has been one the hardest parts of being married?

There are some areas of life where Eric and I are on polar opposite sides and it isn't always clear where we are supposed to be. We work hard to find the "balance" but that is often after several hours of talking. And frankly, being the more selfish of the two of us is a difficult realization to have. I've gone through many paradigm shifts and that is a humbling experience.

What were some surprises you didn’t anticipate in marriage?

   
Well, first I thought it was surprising how much he eats. My entire view of food and cooking has been turned upside down. But that is a little dwarfed by the surprise of getting pregnant in our first year of marriage (when we thought we'd have 4-5 years of just us). We didn't anticipate being parents so quickly but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Freyda's entrance has greatly enriched our marriage and has changed the way I see my husband - like getting a new perspective.

Have you received any advice that has helped shape your marriage significantly?

I had two good friends (including Brittany) tell me the importance of talking everything out - especially in the first year. They told me that the security of the covenant relationship I have with Eric leaves room for difficult conversations. The grace and love I have experienced by following that advice and not letting resentment or passivity win has truly been significant for us.

What little things do you do as a couple that keep marriage your enjoyable?

Some of the little things cannot be written on a blog =) haha that probably should not be published.  

(Editors note: Amen. Publishing it!)

These days, making Freyda laugh, getting creative in the kitchen, eating dessert together, watching a movie after a long week, and generally taking time to connect face-to-face keep us enjoying one another.

What advice would you give to a just-married couple?

Make intimacy a priority. Wives - don't let the tasks of being a wife take your gaze from your husband. Your clean home and delicious meals are pointless without him. Also, be real about feeling distant from each other. Talk about it. I'd be willing to bet there is an unmet expectation (realistic or unrealistic) and some assumptions being made that will lead to bigger issues. Prioritizing intimacy makes vulnerability in other areas easier. 

What advice would you give to a couple with young kids?

Since Frey is still itty bitty, I would really echo what I said above. Don't let sleep or your new babe take away intimacy in your marriage. Jesus promises to sustain and like Brittany points out frequently, laughing and playing with the hubby is often times more relaxing and fulfilling than those couple extra hours of sleep.

What are some key ways God has worked most in your marriage?

   
 God shows off. Eric and I have similar struggles with pride, trust, and perseverance and the way God uses each of us to display himself to the other is beautiful. And the way we have experienced his provision is undeniably miraculous.

In the struggling times of your marriage, what were a few key things that kept you going?

Divorce is not an option. Therefore, not talking through things is not an option.

What advice would you give to other women in relationships?

  
 If it's serious, start studying your man now. Deeper than what's his favorite color and what games does he enjoy most. What helps him rest? How does his personality change when he has been skipping his time with Jesus? What are his fears? What motivates him? Who are his closest friends and what is it about them that your man enjoys so much? You will come up against a circumstance where you feel in the dark as to what he needs/wants but making a habit of seeking to understand your man is extremely beneficial. 

What do you enjoy most about this stage of your marriage?

I'm getting to watch my husband do what he has dreamed about while simultaneously seeing him morph into a puddle of daddy love. This stage of our marriage is extremely tough with a lot of uncertainty but have you ever watched a dad with his daughter? It makes my heart explode.

 

Thanks to Alisa for sharing her heart! Hop on over to her blog, say hi, and follow along!