There's a stereotype that I've found to be true of moms. The classic avoidant phrase "I don't like the way I look in pictures" or "Oh, just get one of the kids!" is something that has sprinkled both my childhood and adulthood. Moms everywhere would say these little phrases and it taught me that when you're a mom-a special kind of insecurity sets in. Bodies have changed-and most mom's have yet to get used to it. Even if one is successful in getting back to a number on the scale-often times the body they get after pushing out a wee one is just not the same. I heard this several times when pregnant. "You'll never look the same!"
A few months ago, late at night I stumbled upon a blog called the anderson crew . The author, Emily does a thing called "embrace the camera." The idea behind this was something I needed to hear. Essentially, she wants her children to see her in the pictures she takes-to have them see that she was a part of the lives they lived. Putting a side insecurities, she chooses to be present and to capture that.
I want my babies to look back and see the same thing. That we lived. The imperfect mother that they did have was a joyful one and one not afraid of the camera. I want them to, while I'm sure I'll be honest with my girls about some of my insecurities-realize that insecurities are not a good reason to hold back on memory making. I've gotten the courage to begin asking Ben and others to take pictures of me with Eowyn and pictures of all of us together.
While I'll be honest and say the minute I look at pictures I fight to not scrutinize every imperfection, I'm learning to stop myself. Learning to look at the joy in my face and the delight in my babies chub cheeks. I'm learning to praise Jesus for the completeness of what He's is doing in us.
I want to celebrate the live God's given and someday when I'm old, I want to be glad I didn't step outside the lens. I highly doubt when I'm 80 and I'm looking at these pictures I'll think anything other than sweet thoughts of how beautiful life was and is. I'll be thankful that I was captured living fully. I'm excited for the memories.
So, despite feeling awkward in near every picture these days, I'd say its most definitely worth it.
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