Ma Bebe



Things I don't want to forget:

  • The absolutely ridiculous faces this kid makes. And the coos and the smiles and the near-giggles. The way I get these surges of happy that make me want to cry and laugh and sigh all at the same time.
  • How Ben has become a protector and provider in more ways than I can count since we had this baby. Protecting our family from criticism, providing encouragement, affirmation, truth. Protecting our time, our hopes, our sanity. He makes my heart swell.
  • Her little hands and feets and her bright blue eyes that look up at me. 
  • The need to rely on Jesus in ways I never did. How he's becoming the friend I've always wanted. I think a lot of times I used to think those phrases about  Jesus being a great friend, husband, Counselor etc. was more of a "Jesus is a great place holder for those until  you get a real one." I'm realizing how much of a lie that was. I'm beginning to actually prefer his friendship over my physical tangible ones. I like that.  
  • Fall. And Ben's willingness to bring me chai tea because he knows how much that 4 dollar cup warms more than just my belly
  • Fam. My mom with her grand baby. The way my dad whispers to Eowyn that they have a "special thing, since I've raised girls before-I understand you." The way my sister has just about made that little girl the most fashionable babe around. Being overwhelmed with the love they've poured out on us.
  • Ben's fam. How joy can be felt this far away. The way they encourage-Man Spragues! You know how to encourage. And to celebrate. Being a part of that family is a privilege.  E's lucky she's a Sprague. 
  • The way our house has become the most randomly goofy place on the block. Having a kid has somehow unleashed inner ridiculousness we never knew we had. Eowyn loves it now. So we'll enjoy it. Hopefully she won't learn the eye-roll. Ever.
  • Ben-That man is gorgeous. It's nice when a fella is not only a man of good character, but sexy too. Just saying.
  • Rediscovering who I am. I've found I sort of feel calm when I am defined. Babies and motherhood left that a little grey. I'm learning myself all over again. Eowyn is bringing out things in me that I am realizing are part of my character (good and bad!) and its showing me who I am outside of what I do. 
  • How incredibly hard this is. How emotionally draining that girl can be. And yet, how encouraging it is. How refining it is and how quickly being a parent forces you to reconcile what really matters.  How much its made me excited for heaven. 

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