A few weeks ago I spent some time creating our 2012 and 2013 yearbooks. I've been hoping to do so for some time, and officially decided to sit down and do it before I started collecting pictures for 2014. As much as I love the internet and this blog (where most of the images came from,) there's something to having pictures in your hands to flip through while your baby sits by your side. When these blurb books came yesterday, it was such a delight to sit down and look through them. My belly growing with eowyn inside, Eowyn growing into the little lady she is, our adventures-all of it was so joyful to see. My favorite part was seeing how Ben and I had grown.
When Ben came home and looked at them, he too commented on the pictures of us. You can see these ever so subtle changes in how we love eachother. After he awed over how little eowyn was (and how big my belly was before having her) he and I both reflected on how blessed we have been. God has been good to us. We're thankful.
We are, as I've mentioned a million times over, in a season of waiting. This season has been festering at least, and excruciating at most. It has seen tears and rants and frustration. Yet, it has been in this season that the Lord as comforter has especially become a treasure to us. In a lot of ways, we learned a new side of Jesus through these past couple of years. It's easy to trust Him with control when it feels like I get a little bit of a say. But when none of it is up to me? Who I think God is quickly reveals itself. I'm learning the beauty of a God who controls everything and comforts me when I face the unknown future.
Despite the ache that can be sometimes found in this infamous wait, theres this: A little girl and her momma; A girl that watches my faces, and sticks her tongue out when I do ; who snuggles in for a good read. Theres a silliness and a depth of understanding that has embedded into our lives that I don't take for granted. There's work to be done, and little treasures to be remembered.
There's the guy reading to the little girl in the other room with voices and animations, there's game night on Wednesdays, and Romans on Tuesdays, there's rocking Eowyn before bed and smelling her hair (and trying to put into words what a beautiful smell that is.) and feeling the quiet of evening settle in.
Right now life looks like berry crisp for breakfast and dessert, Lord of the Rings gaming, izzy drinks, and target runs. Laundry, mundane and yet glimpses of joy. There's a lot of beauty here. These moments are gifts.
Many aspects of our life we're looking forward to changing. But right now, I think I'm okay. We have a lot of dreams that we hope to be moving into. As Ben said last night, if he could make the changes happen this weekend-we'd be doing just that.
But today-on this Thursday in February-what God has given for these moments is plenty.
Having 2012 and 2013 in yearbook form has allowed me to be reminded that this life is happening. As I heard in a recent youtube video: 'there is no dress rehearsal.' These days of bathtime and toy playing and mini adventures are the things that fill the pages year after year. These are my gifts. All these little gifts are what makes a life-my life.
I'm thankful for the incredible gift of Ben Sprague, that I get to share the rest of this story with that man and I celebrate the gift of delighting in the early chapters of my girl's life.
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