Dear John


Today we were talking about our marriage and what we thought of the past few years. The conversation turned back and forth and became a dialogue about what God really intended with this one man-one woman deal. I asked you if you thought we were getting to experience what he desired for it and in your reply you said this:

"i think we have had a lot more 'heaven' moments than most marriages get to experience. "

that little statement a midst all you said has resonated with my heart. I keep thinking about it and I know its so meaningful because of how true it is and has been. When I think about all of this and who you are and who I am and who that makes us, I am overwhelmed. 

How blessed am I? 

Ben, You have fought relentlessly to be the husband that God calls you to be. After some of our most vulnerable and sometimes severe conversations, after some of the deepest apologies, after all that life has brought us and out of us, we're in front of each other as we really are. And in the vulnerability and honesty, and transparency that comes with being who I am in front of you, with scars and failures and so many imperfections, you look and see and delight. And I am astounded. My heart and words  keep asking, "really?" Yes really. You respond like Jesus. Your words are the reinforcement to the actions that you consistently express. Redeeming Delight.

You are a man among men. 

And when I'm sharing with you about feeling misunderstood by others, or when I'm searching my own heart for answers-you've often told me "I think the reason why you feel this way, is because this is the way you are...." You then proceed to describe me with such accuracy it moves me. I am known.

My past, my current, my hopes, my insecurities, the hurtful lies I believe, the dreams I get scared to share. the random side comments that have shaped me from my past, the deep routed patterns of my heart you work to know them. And you take all that and you lead us to Christ time and time again. You affirm me and yet still remind me that all this is secondary to Jesus and who I am because of Him. 

I don't really know how to say all that I feel but I do think you're right in saying we've experienced some of those 'heaven' moments. This marriage has made me crave Jesus and heaven and being in the presence of the Almighty God all the more. As Christ is making you into a new creation, I've gotten to see Jesus in your forgiveness, compassion, joyfulness, understanding, leadership, justice, protection and delight. Through our commitment I've tasted and seen that the Lord is good. 

thank you.

No comments:

Post a Comment