And she'll be called blessed...

My heart is full.

Maybe its because I've lived a  full 21 years of life. Maybe because I found the one my soul longs for when I was young, maybe its because I found the one to partner with me for all my days before I felt the feelings of anxiousness. Maybe its because I sit with a home that has already had enough laughter and silly inside jokes to fill the walls with memories. Maybe its because the Lord has poured out on me in more ways than I could have asked. In my anxiousness he's provided peace. When I was in need He always provides. And I sit, astounded. The God of the Universe loves me. Has already done enough by taking away my sins and letting me know him personally. But he doesn't stop there-no He walks beside me all my days. He provides peace in lifes turbulance in lifes stressful moments he gives me joy.  He celebrates with me in my joys and he surprises me with love. I. Am. Blessed.

I've gotten to live 2 full decades of seeing His work. And I have had the priveledge of 1 more. And now, I get to approach yet another year to live for my Savior. And what a better way than living a whole year getting to study his word, and put his word into practice in my relationships, and in my work. This may be the best year of my life to date.

I found a blog the other day of a woman who had recently lost her husband. I weaped for her. Her candid honesty made me hurt with her. It got me thinking. A lot of about relationships, a lot about death. And I decided. I've said this before, but i'll say it again. If i dont make it through this  year. That's just fine. I have lived life to the fullest. I have gotten my taste of all of lives joys, and much of lifes pains. I have felt love deeper than I thought was in existence, experienced miracles, felt deep sorrow, and found deep rejoicing through christ. I . have. lived. SO FULLY. I've felt my belly ache with laughter-so much my lungs hurt and my eyes are leaking. I've felt that emptiness that makes one cling to Christ all the more and appreciate relationships. I've felt accomplishment, I've felt the vast amount of sinfulness that separates me from my Savior, and I feel the great amount of Love and Grace that filled the gap to bring me to him. I have, at least in part-experienced all of life's joys and gifts.


I'm sure when I have my first baby, my mind will be blown even further in terms of how much a heart can love. And i'm sure it will be only expounded on the years to come. If God grants me those, I'll call them blessed. But for now-I just want to be thankful. You've given me more than enough. And I humbly worship the God that gives and takes away. Thanks God, for your son, for this life, and for the countless joys you've given me. It cost you more than I know. Thanks for creating me 21 years and 364 days ago.

Things I'm thankful for:
1. Sweet times with sweet friends. I love you Amy. You make me the happiest and the fullest a friend can be.
2. Chocolate cheesecake. It tastes good, even like 10 days later. Yum to the o
3. Seeing God provide financially. Especially in times of doubt. To all those that have filled the gaps and have poured out their blessings on us.
4. My husband. And his grace. and his forgiveness.
5. My husband. For killing the bees that are trying to kill me.
6. Lists. Getting to make 22 things I'm going to be doing and feeling the joy that sets in with the taste of new adventure
7. Birthdays. Because they make me pause to be thankful
8. Sisters-I only have one. But she sure fills me with joy.
9. Trading out 'getting stuff' for accomplishing dreams. Boy does it leave my heart full-and my rooms just empty enough.
10. Jesus. For never letting me out of his sight.

over and Out