Momma Said...


With every occupation I've had, I would have days where I would come home and 'fake quit.' I'd tell Ben I was done, and for a moment I would pretend that I had quit such and such job and I was no longer responsible to those duties.Then logic, (and my discipline and responsibility strength finders) would kick in and I would state that in reality the job I occupied was a blessing, and I really was happy to have it.

I don't really consider being a mom my job. Much like I don't consider being Ben's wife my occupation-but they are definitely roles that are my main priorities (and with staying at home with E, They take up the bulk of my time.).

Eowyn has been sick for the past few days. Just last week, as mentioned previously I got the flu, and there's the obviousness of winter which brings in its share of cabin fever, and general greyness.. Things are just sort of hard at this season in our life. Not in big ways. But in really little ways. And its all these little ways that are tiring. I think, while I do not wish this for us,  I often function better with life crisis. I can process, I can make a game plan. I can take an active part. But with this new season, and the new ways my time is spent, things have changed and often times it feels more like life is happening. But there's no job to quit.

Theres no 'fake quitting' Eowyn or Ben. There's no quitting period.

With little things like sickness, there is no game plan to be made. Its just: get through. With seasons changing, and our life changing there is so much unknown that plans can't be made with any real certainty (not that they ever really could.) But especially not now. Just like we don't know if the weather will be good a few weeks from now-so much of the little things in our life are what make these types of struggles unique.

Baby sickness is a whole new level of stretching me. I ache when I hear those little girls lungs and yet am so tired myself I just want for time to pause for a bit, go hide and for all health to be restored.

I'm definitely having a pity party over here. And just like the tiny little things that are exhausting, its in this pity party I'm taking advantage of the little things that are good. Just a few moments a go I ate a banana covered with Nutella. Ben has been full of grace and good conversations lately, which has been awesome since I haven't really left this house in a few days. I just wanted to process a bit. I appreciate you processing with me.

I'm not sure why, but ever since college, on particularly rough days, the song "Momma said there would be days like this." chimes in.  On these days, i whisper it under my breath. Its a comforting thing to me now. Mostly because of how true it is and how it makes me feel a little prepared.. Life is in the trenches. and based on these past days by golly we're living!

So readers, If you think of it, would you pray for us? For Eowyn to get better. For sickness to leave this house entirely. For God's hand to be on so many of the changes happening in our life? For Peace?

Its appreciated.

As Always, thanks for reading.

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